He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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