oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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