I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
