3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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