He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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