actually, I'm a sock model
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
