i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
