we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
