I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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