I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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