They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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