It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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