Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
where does the pee come out of this thing
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
