i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Houston, we have a squirter
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
