You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
