called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize