He kissed a someone with a penis
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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