someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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