There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
