next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize