I heard we made out
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
