True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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