I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I believe in your delicious
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