Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize