We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
she woke up with a sticky ear
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize