that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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