yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
