I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
