I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
