I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
