Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize