what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
