I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
