i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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