you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Randomize
