Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
