Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
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