You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Randomize
