Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
