I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
