Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Operation Purity has been aborted
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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