My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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