I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
