ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
