I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
