I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
