Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
