I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Randomize
