i just wanna soil my oats bro
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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