This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
