R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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