I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize