I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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