Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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