I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I have aggressive nipples.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
