So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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