Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
