My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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