I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
