I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
