Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
