Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize