I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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